Category: Family

#flashbackfriday Thirteen

I’ve just watched a movie on Disney Star, Thirteen.

I’ve seen it before, about ten years ago when my own daughter was in high school, and it scared the crap out of me how realistic and relatable it was.

Watching it made me flash back to the early 80s when I was thirteen years old and started pushing the boundaries and experimenting.

One particularly memorable night my ‘bestie’ and I snuck out of her house after her parents went to bed. She lived near a main road so we thought it’d be fun to stick our thumbs out and ‘pretend’ to hitch.

Two young girls, out alone at night … Wasn’t long before two guys pulled over and offered us a ride.

We thought it was a laugh, and lucky for us the guys didn’t take advantage of us in any way, and we were proud of ourselves for being so ‘naughty’.

I’ve been writing in a journal as long as I can remember, and it was reading my journal that Mum found out what we’d been up to and my friendship with my bestie was banned.

At the time I was angry at her for violating my privacy under the pretense of checking when my music lesson was scheduled. And of course devastated that my friendship with my bestie had to end.

What the movie shows is just how quickly things can go awry, and the games and lies teenagers play to manipulate and get their way.

Highly recommended viewing for anyone with pre-teens, even if only to get an insight into how peer pressure can potentially play out.

Two years after my naughty night out a friend of mine also hitched a ride and ended up being a victim of David and Catherine Birnie. For those not familiar with the story you can find out more online … Every Mother’s nightmare.

Who knows what other risks I may have taken if my friendship wasn’t banned and my boundary pushing and experimentation had been allowed to escalate.

Thankfully my own children didn’t end up pushing and experimenting too much and they’re still here and love to share their stories of what they got away with in their teens now they’re adults.

I can only imagine what the parents of my friend who wasn’t so lucky go through every time they think of her.

So in a way I guess I’m saying thanks Mum.

But I’ll still never forgive you for reading my journal.

The bubble has burst

I’m wearing a mask handmade by a family member that felt like overkill when it arrived, but now that I’m wearing it my anxiety has hit overdrive.

It’s here, the virus we’ve been reading and hearing about from the sanctuary of our ‘bubble’ has finally found a way in and I am quietly terrified.

It wasn’t until I left home this morning that reality hit.

Driving through the back streets on my way into work, the majority of the dog walkers and tradies I passed were wearing masks.

There were very few cars on the road, and a bus I passed was eerily empty.

I’ve already had a conversation with a work colleague who, after complaining that the mask made her feel dizzy, proceeded to tell me that it’s all a conspiracy and she’s very angry.

I’m angry too, because it’s people like her not taking it seriously that will be most likely to cause the virus to spread even more.

Beyond the current epicentre in Maylands, where my daughter lives. She and her housemates have been queueing since the crack of dawn for testing, because it’s the right thing to do.

Wearing a mask of course, and preparing to wait as long as it takes to get to the front of the line.

Because if you choose not to wear a mask because it feels uncomfortable, or fogs your glasses, or makes you feel dizzy or you think it looks silly then please stay home.

But please don’t go to the shopping centre and vent at the service assistant because you had to queue outside in the heat for hours and there’s no toilet paper left on the shelves.

Because that’s just wrong and you will look silly.

Waiting for a Wave

News just in from the WA Premier, the hard border that has been closed since April will finally be opened for travellers from NSW and Victoria from midnight tonight!

Good news, right?

I certainly hope so.

Because from what I’ve seen recently, the coronvirus crisis isn’t being taken seriously, and there is a frightening sense of complacency that has settled into the WA community.

It’s certainly felt like one of the safest places in the world to be, and yes I know that for those who have been ‘stuck outside’ it has been a long wait.

The Premier turned us into an island within an island, and we’ve had months to get ourselves ready for the opening but are we really ready?

Just in time for Christmas shopping queues, and the silly season when after a few drinks everyone is a friend.

Is it just me or do we all need to stop and think and remind ourselves that yes we have been lucky to not have had any community transmission in this state, yet.

And do whatever we can to prevent a second wave.

It may not impact you personally but think about the implications of you passing the virus onto someone else, who has an elderly friend or relative, or whose immunity is compromised, and the impact on our health workers and health system.

Maybe I am a glass half empty ‘negative Nancy’, but I’m feeling a lot of anxiety while waiting for the wave.

So download the SafeWA app, avoid close contact with others, avoid shaking hands, stay home if you are not well, cover your mouth/nose when you cough/sneeze and wash your hands.

Please 🥺🙏

Not a ‘sickie’, just a cold

I’m not at work today, I’m sick.

Not a ‘sickie’, just a cold.

Probably still okay to be at work, just feels like a ‘normal’ cold but I did the ‘right thing’ and went to a respiratory clinic for a Covid test earlier today.

And yes it wasn’t pleasant.

I did the biggest loudest sneeze of my life after the nostril swab! And it’s true, your glasses fog up when you wear a mask.

And I’m annoyed I’m stuck at home until the test results are confirmed, because we’re heading away this weekend and I still need to sort out my outfit for the wedding, and was planning to catch up with the girls on my rostered day off tomorrow.

But that’s a small price to pay at the end of the day.

First World Problem as they say?

On a day I heard Doctors Without Borders are on their way to the US to help deal with the pandemic.

Because it’s people like me, who assumed it was ‘just a cold’ but actually had the virus, who helped spread it and we can all see how that is panning out overseas.

Because I heard on the radio that we need to think of the virus like the smell of cigarettes you breathe in even after the smoker has stopped smoking.

It’s in the air you breathe.

Yes we’re lucky here in Western Australia that we’ve not had any community transmission yet. But it feels like it’s only a matter of time.

Just look at how fast it’s spread in South Australia. From one person.

So maybe think about having Christmas outside this year, or a smaller family gathering than usual, or if you have to be inside have a fan circulating air.

And if you feel like you’ve ‘just got a cold’ go and get a Covid test.

It’s just the right thing to do.

Confessions of a closet hoarder

It’s bulk rubbish collection week in our suburb and the kerb crawlers are out in force.

I don’t have an issue with finding treasure in the trash, and the kerb crawlers are most welcome to help themselves to anything they like because (in theory) that helps reduce my contribution to landfill.

My issue is actually making the decision to let something go.

My contribution has started with the remnants of our life with cats, including a scratching post we invested a ridiculous amount of money in but neither cat was particularly interested in actually using.

It ended up outside in the cat run and the weather’s taken its toll, so off to the verge it must go.

We actually have a house full of stuff that needs to go, but making the decision to do that is something I find very hard to do.

Perhaps it’s the emotional attachment, or the fact that I grew up in a ‘make do and mend’ household?

Or that the stuff we have accumulated in our blended household tells the story of our journey over the past 18 years?

I’m okay with gifting unwanted clothes to Op Shops, but books and gifts and the bits and pieces that our kids have left behind are not so easy to give away.

I once worked with someone who told me their annual spring clean involves hiring a skip bin and walking through the house and finding stiff to fill it with and I was horrified!

What if you need something you have thrown out so impulsively? Or someone you know does?

What if it is still functional and valuable to someone, anyone?

I’ve joined my local buy nothing community page on Facebook and have gifted a few items, but have to admit to receiving more than I have gifted which isn’t really helping clear the clutter.

Maybe I need to get someone else in to  remove all the stuff and see what I miss?

I’m giving my cat collection until the end of the day until someone removes it from the verge.

In the meantime I’m off to look for something else to add to the pile.

If you need anything let me know, I’ve probably got it!

Reflections on life without a Father

Today is Father’s Day in Australia.

Maybe you bought your dad a whole lot of stuff he likes but doesn’t really need, because that’s what the Hallmark version of the day is all about.

For me it is a day of reflection for what could have been.

You see, there is no Father in my life and according to my birth certificate there never has been.

Having reached the mid century milestone you could say I’ve learnt to come to terms with the lack of a father figure in my life, and my experiences with my own children and step-children and their fathers has been nothing but positive and for their sakes I am truly grateful.

If they are anything like me on Mother’s Day, knowing they are loved and valued and appreciated will count more than anything money can buy.

A simple text message, phonecall or making time to be with their Dad is all you really need to do. Anything else is a bonus.

As for me, I will be making an effort to acknowledge the two Dads in my world, just in case their kids forget.

And taking some time out for myself to reflect on what could have been.

As I read somewhere once, ‘Anyone can be a Father, it takes someone special to be a Dad.’

So cheers to all the Dads from me.

Shadow in The Good Room

There is a room in our house that over the years we have preferred to keep our kids and cats out of, ‘The Good Room’.

It’s where our nicest furniture, a wool rug and our DVD and vinyl collection are stored, and most recently the room I like to practice my guitar in.

Since we’ve been spending so much time at home we’ve relaxed the rules, and our furbaby Shadow has taken a liking to sleeping on the sofas in there.

And we’re okay with that.

I’ve not been able to practice my guitar or watch movies or listen to records because she’s not happy with loud noises.

But we’re okay with that.

You see today we found out the reason she’s been off her food the past few days is because she’s got Lymphoma, and we had to make a decision about her end of life.

At seventeen years of age she’s not going to handle surgery or chemotherapy, so the best we can offer is for her to be on medication that is likely to stimulate her appetite.

We’ve been assured she’s not in pain, and should be comfortable as long as she’s eating and drinking and not incontinent.

We’ve been told that best case scenario is a few more months of life, and for now she’s happy and comfortable in ‘The Good Room.’

There’s a bowl of water and her favourite rug, and she’s still mobile and seems happy to make her way to the laundry to use the kitty litter. She even headed out into the sunshine today, and rolled around in the dirt which ended up on the rug and sofa.

But after all the years of love and companionship we’ve been blessed with receiving from our furbaby, the least we can do is let her make herself comfortable in ‘The Good Room’.

Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

As well as having a heavenly scent, the flowers on this plant in my garden also have a story to tell.

I chose and planted it when we returned from our first ever cruise on Dawn Princess from Fremantle to Sydney in March 2010. The cruise we boarded on the day of an infamous hail storm, when my now-husband proposed and we met our wonderful cruise buddies.

What is amazing about this plant is that every year around this time it puts on the most wonderful tricolour floral display; the flowers range in colour from purple to mauve to white, depending how old they are. Hence its nickname of Yesterday Today Tomorrow.

Yesterday I was a young mother with long hair and lean limbs, living and loving every moment of every day of my life with my ‘babies’. Today my hair is still long but my limbs are no longer lean, and my children are young adults living and loving every day in their own way. Tomorrow they will hopefully be blessed with children of their own and they will recall their yesterday with me and remember to make the most of their today.

Yesterday I never imagined the today I would be living, full of love and life and tomorrow plans, with so many wonderful friendships and journeys and memories.

Today I am OK and Tomorrow I will be too.

Sometimes all I need is to stop and admire these flowers to remind myself of that.

Thankyou Facebook for remembering my birthday

And reminding me to wish my friends and family best wishes on their special day.

Yesterday was my birthday, and given the popularity and reach of
Facebook it was also the anniversary of birth for many other people in the world.

Yet thanks to Facebook I received numerous birthday wishes and
messages, both online and in person, from old school friends and
acquaintances who I only touch base with on Social Media, to close friends and family I regularly catch up with in person.

Every single post on my page reminded me that, even if ever so briefly, I was in their thoughts, and that their thoughts of me were positive and happy.

Kind of a similar concept to the ‘Warm Fuzzies’ we were encouraged to write and leave in individual envelopes at school camp a long time ago in a Galaxy far away. Would you believe that I still have mine, in a box along with the letters and cards I have received from friends and lovers over the years.

Not that I ever look at them, just knowing they are there is enough to make me feel warm and fuzzy, as did reading through my birthday posts throughout my special day.

So thanks again everyone for the birthday wishes, and thankyou
Facebook for making them possible.

Have you been paying attention?

In the blink of an eye the end of another year is on the horizon, so before we get there it feels appropriate to reflect on 2015.

A year when same sex marriage was legalised in Ireland, and an archaic law permitting unwanted homosexual advances as a defense for murder was repealed here in Aus.

The World struck a deal on climate change, however a major corporation was caught ‘cheating’ on emission tests.

Saudi Air strikes, ISIS terrorists and refugees flooding into Europe hit the headlines, but there’s water on Mars and a new antibiotic that have been discovered so there’s still hope.

Hope for my friends seeking love that their special someone will sweep them off their feet to live happily ever after, hope that the curse of cancer can be conquered and recede from existence, and hope for another year filled with love and life.

Here’s cheers to the end of an amazing year in my World; hope you start the New Year full of love and life and inspiration, and I hope you’ll stay interested in following the stories of me.