Category: Relationships

My 25 Days Dry

Elton John on Instagram last week:

“25 years of sobriety today. One day at a time. #Gratitude #Happiness #Blessed #ShareTheLove”

Today is the third day of August, and three days ago I celebrated the end of my Dry July with a champagne toast.

In total I was officially ‘dry’ for 25 July days, received Golden Tickets to account for the other six and raised more than $300 for the Cancer Council WA.

Along the way I learnt some lessons about planning for and managing my alcohol consumption, and that I don’t need to have a few drinks to feel confident in social settings.

Unfortunately my plan to also lose excess kilos didn’t pan out; I need to overcome the urge to reward myself with food and drinks or find other ways to that won’t add to my calorie consumption.

Interesting to consider how insignificant my 25 days are when compared to the impressive 25 years by Elton John; imagine how hard it has been for him over the years in his social circle!

One day at a time is my plan from now one, but as for Dry July:

Let the records show, I took the blows, and did it My Way!

A Milestone Celebration

My baby girl celebrated her 21st birthday yesterday, inviting her closest friends and family to our home for a champagne brunch.

For me it provided the perfect opportunity to reflect on how far we have come as a family over this time, and also on the meaning of this milestone in the modern world.

Given that the age of consent is 16, and a person is legally considered an adult at 18, what is it about turning 21 that is worth celebrating?

In Australia it was not until 1973 that the voting age was reduced from 21 to 18, so perhaps the acknowledgment of turning 21 is a hangover from another generation, representing the traditional age of maturity?

Or is it that by 21 most young adults have settled into a clear path into their future, determined by their immininent graduation from University, experience in the workplace or traveling, depending on their family background and circumstances.

In my case I was mother to an 18 month old by the time I turned 21, yet invited a cast of thousands to join me in marking this rite of passage. And everyone who I invited was happy to be there to celebrate with me, most likely because of the free flowing alcohol but still it was nice to be the centre of attention for the night.

The sad thing about the brunch for my daughter was that less than half of those who accepted the invitation actually made it to the gathering.

Not that she was bothered, those who did make it were inspiringly authentic and genuine in their friendship, and happily left with delicious treats leftover from the hoards I mistakenly catered for.

My opinion of those who didn’t attend is that chances are they got a better offer, weren’t enticed to attend by our comparatively low key celebration, or perhaps were too hungover from celebrating the end of Semester but at the very least common courtesy would have them send their apologies.

But of course that would have been the mature thing to do.

A Thousand Words

Forgive me if this post is somewhat melancholy, attending a funeral has the tendency to cause me to stop and reflect on my own life journey and contemplate what there would be to show for and what would be said about me at mine.

The old adage ‘A picture tells a thousand words’ never rings more true than at a funeral, when along with personal recollections by friends and family it is the lifetime of photos that tell the story of a life.

At forty five years of age I consider myself to be halfway through my story, and it is the circle of friends and family I have acquired who love and support me unconditionally and for whom I do not hesitate to do so in return that mean more to me than anything I have achieved or purchased.

I will admit to feeling a twinge of jealousy when entering a beautiful home, and well done if you have achieved your savings goal, but if that is all there is to show at the end of a lifetime I personally feel that to be a waste of life.

It is not the photos of property portfolios and possessions, or even bank balances that bring memories flooding back, it is the people and experiences that define a life, and I think that’s what’s driving me to see and experience more of the world in my lifetime.

The home pictured above was built by my husband’s grandfather and hosted a lifetime of stories, but at the end of the day it was sold when the Carn family links to the house ended and is now the setting of a whole new family story.

Sincere apologies to anyone I may offend by expressing this sentiment, but life for me is a journey not a destination so while I am still healthy and mobile I choose to live, and anyone who’s feeling stuck on the treadmill should consider doing the same.

Eternal Flame

Today is officially the last day of our holiday and it’s definitely going to be the most memorable thanks to the terrible horrible very bad news we received from home.

My husband’s grandmother, the matriarch of a large extended family I feel privileged to be a part of, passed away earlier today on the other side of the world from where we are right now.

Nana was the most wonderfully loving and generous person who loved nothing more than sharing memories of her life and the achievements of her clan. She joked that every year she lived beyond 60 was a miracle yet despite the myriad of health issues it was still a shock that she so suddenly passed away so close to her next milestone birthday.

Thinking of her brings tears to my eyes, because she fully accepted myself and my children as part of her extended family from the first day we met, without judgment or assumption. Too many other people I have met on my journey have not been so unconditional with their love and the light that shone so brightly from the top of the family tree will forever be a reminder to me to do the same.